Happily Ever After?
by blue alien
Summary: The War of the Ring is over and Aragorn and Arwen are planning their wedding. Will they really live happily ever after? Chap 2 is up! Gollum in pink..muahaha!
1. Fluffy

Disclaimer: Hey Tolkien, fetch! throws manuscripts for Hobbit, Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Silmarillion, etc. Tolkien runs and grabs them in his mouth Tolkien drools Good boy, have a bone!  
  
Ok maybe I lied. Yes, it's all his.  
  
End Disclaimer  
  
After the War of the Ring, Aragorn and Arwen are making wedding plans.  
  
"I think everything should be pink! EVERYTHING!" said Arwen happily.  
  
"But Arwen, you're an elf, and this is a wedding. Elves, weddings and pink grimace don't go well together."  
  
"Hmmmm......" contemplated Arwen. "Hey! Are you saying we shouldn't get married?" tears  
  
"No my love, I'm saying we shouldn't use pink," sighed Aragorn.  
  
"Fine! Green, then"  
  
"Yes! That's a wonderful idea," said Aragorn  
  
The happy couple went out to lunch at a nice restaurant in Minas Tirith. After eating, they walked around looking at all the shops. Minas Tirith was at peace, and men, elves and dwarves strolled its streets. Except for one slinking creature......  
  
"Gollum, Gollum. Destroyed it, Baggins did. Destroyed it, hmm...I'll destroy him, I will! Took the Precious, and I helped him, I did. Gollum, goll – "  
  
"Oh look, how cute! Oh my gosh, let's keep it Aragorn. Can we?" exclaimed Arwen (all in one breath) To his own horror, Arwen had picked up Gollum and was cuddling him.  
  
Aragorn recognized Gollum immediately, and was amazed.  
  
"Frodo said you fell into Mount Doom and were consumed with the Ring. What really happened?" asked Aragorn.  
  
"Fell in, yes, Gollum. Consumed, no and no precious either. Nooooo pre –"  
  
"Come on Fluffy, let's give you a bath!" said Arwen, heading off down the street, with Aragorn following.  
  
20 armed guards approached the 3. "Sir, we have come to protect you and the Lady Arwen from harm. Who is the intruder?" said the captain, addressing Aragorn.  
  
"I'm a bloody King, I can take care of myself and my fiancé perfectly well ON MY OWN! Bloody hell..." yelled Aragorn.  
  
"Ummm......Yes, My lord"  
  
Aragorn has an idea  
  
"Actually, it would be appreciated if you could remove the...ermmm....intruder, captain," added Aragorn.  
  
The captain and his men attempted to remove Gollum from Arwen's arms, but she protested. "Noooo! Fluffy is MY pet and I'm going to give him a bath and make him cute! And then he can come to our wedding!" exclaimed a smiling Arwen.  
  
"Oh, nevermind," muttered the King wearily. His fiancé was at many times his worst enemy. At too many times.  
  
In a few minutes Aragorn found himself in Madame's Petite Pet Parlor. There were so many different shampoos, conditioners, perfumes and burning candles that the cloying scent was dizzying.  
  
"Places like this should be outlawed," muttered Aragorn as he collapsed into a chair. Everything was spinning...why was Gollum spinning in circles in a pink bathtub?...  
  
"Honey! Honey? Are you all ready to go? Fluffy is all fixed up!" said Arwen, shaking awake Aragorn.  
  
"Where's Gollum?"  
  
"If you mean Fluffy, then he is right here! Silly you! But isn't he so cute? reverts to baby talk Oh yes little fluffy-wuffy is oh – soooooo cute!!!" said Arwen sweetly, gesturing at a pink, frilly basket covered in lace and bows. Within, a traumatized Gollum was huddled, in a pink frilly dress with many pink bows.  
  
Aragorn bangs his head on the door, then follows his fiancé out onto the street  
  
"Oh, this is absolutely wonderful! Fluffy can be the ring bearer at our wedding, honey! And carry up our wedding rings on a pink satin pillow!" said Arwen.  
  
"You mean GREEN satin pillow. And I don't think that's such a good idea. Gollum can be a little obsessive about rings," said Aragorn.  
  
"Precious?" perked up a little traumatized pink ball.  
  
"Yes, that's right Fluffy. You ARE very precious. Oh yes, so adorably precious – "  
  
"ARWEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where is all of my money?? If you spent it on that mischievous, slinking THING then this is not going to be pretty!!!"  
  
"Uh oh!" giggled Arwen girlishly.  
  
Hope you liked. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!! Flames will be used to heat my frozen (vegetarian) TV dinners. Not that I'm a couch potato.  
  
It will get better, I promise. 


	2. eenie meenie minie mo

Disclaimer: It's all mine. Not. I bet I had you fooled for a minute there, though. Well, maybe a second. Perhaps a millisecond, or a nanosecond, or a – this could go on a while; I think you get the idea.  
  
After a very strong......ermmmm.......beverage, Aragorn had calmed down about his loss of a money pouch stuffed full of gold coins. But, he was still sure that he needed to get rid of Gollum.  
  
"Hmmm.....Arwen, I'm getting tired. Let's head back to the tower now. I want to show Gollum....errr.....Fluffy, that is, the view from the White Tower," said Aragorn.  
  
"Sure! I have to coordinate the wedding decorations anyways," replied the clueless beauty.  
  
"Remember, GREEN! NOT pink!!!" reminded Aragorn.  
  
The two parted in front of the white tree, and Aragorn headed for the White Tower. The tower guard admitted him with a hardly concealed laugh. Aragorn, carrying a lacy pink basket covered in frills, was surrounded by dizzying waves of perfume emanating from the basket.  
  
"Sir, may I ask about the basket?" asked the tower guard.  
  
"Fiancés...." muttered the King.  
  
Aragorn stumbled up the stairs, dragging the basket behind him. Gollum was no help, either.  
  
"Gollum, gollum. Called me cute, she did, cute and preciousss. Can't BE precious, must FIND precious. Too much pink, too much smelly, gollum gollum. And now Mr. King has me. Where to, Mr. King? We knows you, ohh yesssss. You helped, you did. Helped Baggins destroy the Precious. Precioussss...."  
  
"For Illuvatar's sake, do you ever shut up? Try to talk about something positive for once, if you must speak at all!"  
  
"Positive? Hmmm...good, he means? Good, good...good plan. Taking Baggins to Her, that was a good plan......stairs, stairs, so many stairs here Mr. King. Just like stairs to Her tunnel. But Her tunnel is nice, dark and pretty! Dark, yes precioussss."  
  
"And I care why?" demanded a frustrated Aragorn.  
  
Of course insane Gollum continued.  
  
"Your stairs are too white, gollum gollum. Paint them black, black like Her stairs. Then they will be good, yesss precioussss – AAAAAARGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Aragorn proceeded to bang the pink lacy Gollum against the wall, after yanking him from the basket.  
  
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!" shrieked the pink blur, "Gollum, gollummmmmmm!"  
  
After Aragorn had vented his frustration on Gollum, he stuffed the creature back into the basket. About to continue on up the stairs, he suddenly dropped the basket.  
  
"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" screamed Aragorn, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!"  
  
Gollum had left a pink streak on the white wall.  
  
"My beautiful white tower is stained with PINK!!!"  
  
Aragorn grabbed the basket again and ran up the last few steps to the top of the citadel. "See the view, Fluffy? Like the view? GOOD!"  
  
And with that, the King of Gondor chucked the pink lacy basket and its contents over the railing, and laughed maniacally.  
  
Beorn was having, you guessed it, bread and honey for lunch in his large hall when he heard a whistling sound. Suddenly a frilly pink basket crashed through the roof, onto the floor. A little pink creature bolted out of his house, never to be seen again.  
  
"Hmmm...my friend Treebeard would call that a bit too hasty," said Beorn.  
  
Some of the animals came up and took away the basket (it found a home in the trash incinerator).  
  
Beorn went back to his meal, and made a point never again to call the incident to his memory.  
  
While all this had been happening, Arwen had been organizing the wedding. She was sitting in the middle of the great hall surrounded by cloth swathes, sample balloons and napkins, and 15 different crystal goblets, along with a flurry of planners and assistants.  
  
"So which goblets would you like to use for the wedding, Lady Arwen?"  
  
"I'm not sure yet, but I've narrowed it down to these 14 right here."  
  
"You've only eliminated one cup?!" cried the assistant.  
  
"Yes, because it had a crack in it."  
  
"WHAT? But that was just the example! The real ones that would be used for the wedding won't be cracked! But you really must pick one NOW. The glassblower is getting impatient!"  
  
Glassblower: Aaiieeeeee! I haff to make zousands and zousands of zese and still you haff not picked! Zey are all so close to ze same, anyvays! Aaiieeeee!  
  
"Well fine, I'll pick. But this is MY wedding, you know," said Arwen, "Hmmm....eenie meenie minie mo, catch an Ent by his toe (if he has one), if he's toeless, let him GO! Okay, I know its NOT this one."  
  
Arwen picks up the glass she just eliminated and smashes it onto the ground.  
  
"Accchhhhhh!!!! Aaiieeee!!!!! I cannot watch!" cried the glassblower as he ran out of the room.  
  
"Eenie meenie minie mo, catch an Ent..."  
  
You know you liked it!!!! And if you didn't then review anyways, and say nice things to make me feel better. Well, maybe not..... anyways, bring your eyes (and mouse) to that little box that says SUBMIT REVIEW. Click the little box...you know how to do the rest.  
  
As a reminder, flames will be used to heat my frozen TV dinners (not that I'm a couch potato). You can guess the fate of Sarcastic Sadistic Sadie's review...  
  
I will update soon!!! But first I need more reviews! 


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